Her Best Friend
by Delcesca Newby
Summary: Have you ever been in love with someone that could never love you back? Have you ever been their best friend? I am both, in love with a girl who thinks I'm nothing more than her greatest friend. It's hell, but I'd rather be that than nothing. AU. OOC.


**Author: Me, Delcesca Newby**

**Rating: T for some language **

**Author's Note: Another one-shot! Woohoo. This little jem is another one I'm proud of, and I really hope you guys like it as well. And even if you don't, please tell me. I really, really want to know. (Yes, I'm begging a little for reviews.)**

**Well enjoy.**

**By the way, I don't own Twilight.

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I can't help myself.

I watch as her long, wavy dark brown hair rubs across her exposed shoulders as she enthusiastically talks with Jessica. Her deep chocolate brown eyes sparkle as her pouty lips close and shut. I wonder what it would be like to touch those lips, to claim them as my own. Would they taste sweet, like the sugar cookie lip gloss she uses? Are they soft like down pillows, as I imagine they are? Would a moan escape them if I fought for dominance of her mouth with my tongue?

I'll never know the answers to those questions. She isn't mine. We're just friends, best friends that have known each other since our diaper days, but still only friends. I'll never break from the friendship zone into date-worthy territory. I can see it every time she talks to me. I'm like another brother to her, no different than Emmett or Jasper. Being intimate with me would be as bad as committing incest.

This knowledge depresses me, though it isn't like she's ever rejected me. I've never confessed my true feelings—I've never had the guts—and that's why I'm only Edward: the guy she can cry on the shoulder of, strip down to practically nothing without blushing in front of, and hug without worrying whether or not I'll try and grab her ass. I mean everything to her, and I adore that, but I wish we could be more. I want to love her with no restraint, to say the words burning inside my heart. But I can't.

That isn't my place.

No, it's Jacob's.

He's her other best friend (mine too), and for the longest time Bella thought of him like she did me, but that changed two years ago at Homecoming. Mike was her date and ditched her at the last minute for the class skank Lauren. Bella was crushed and Jacob was there to offer comfort. I would have, too, but I was in the hospital with a shattered femur and pumped full of so much morphine that I could have been thrown into a furnace and not have felt my skin melting away from my body.

The music must have been perfectly selected for romance that night, the gym covered in just the right amount of shadows to invoke cautious and flirtatious grins and long, meaningful gazes into each other's eyes, because a week and a half later the two were a couple; announcing their union to me while I was eating a cup of nasty cherry jell-o.

I told them that I was happy, that I knew one day it would happen, and it all wasn't a complete lie. I'm thrilled that the two most important people in my life have found bliss with someone else. I just wish it wasn't with each other. I always pictured it being me and Bella, not Bella and Jacob, but obviously my ideas don't correspond with Fate's, and so I've lucked out.

"Guess what?" Bella asks, leaning towards me; done with whatever she and Jessica were discussing.

"Hmm?" I muse, sounding slightly bored, but only because I don't want her to ever guess that I watch every movement she makes when I know she's not looking. That's creepy and I would hate to harm our friendship in any way, shape, or form.

"It's Thursday," Bella says, her voice low and playful.

I shrug. "So?"

"So? Edward!" Bella cries, shoving me gently. "How can you say that? Tonight isn't just _so_. It's game night! Aren't you excited?"

"Maybe the old routine is growing tedious," I suggest, though game night will never get dull, not as long as that one night of the week is always set aside so that the three of us can just be the greatest friends again, no romance—no broken heart.

"Blasphemy!" Bella almost shrieks, brandishing her uncapped pen at me like a sword. "Take it back, Edward, or I'll put this right up your nose and remove your brain ancient Egyptian style."

"Oh, no," I say, throwing my hands up in defeat. "I didn't mean it, powerful one. I'm just PMSing, so sorry. It won't ever happen again," I promise.

Bella lowers her pen and smirks. "It better not."

"God, the two of you are so lame," my friend Tyler says from beside me.

"Yup." Bella nods as our English teacher, Mr. Mason, enters the room. There's no more talking as he begins class, and I slip into my typical role of gazing at Bella while my hand scrambles across a page of my notebook, taking down everything that Mr. Mason says, though I won't understand a word of it until I force myself to study tonight.

The next forty minutes fly by and soon the bell is ringing, signaling the end of class. We all gather our things and rush out of the room; Bella and I walking together down the crowded hall. She talks animatedly about how she plans on kicking my ass on the Wii, and I listen with a smile on my face. What she's saying isn't the most profound thing on the planet, but I think its heaven just to have all her attention focused on me. It doesn't happen a lot anymore.

The rest of the day passes in a blur and soon school's ending.

I'm at my locker when Bella walks up and knocks her hip into mine.

"Hey, you wanna go get something to eat before heading over to Jacob's?" she asks.

"Why isn't he taking you out? Don't you two always go to The Shop after school?"

"Yeah, but he's gotta go to the doctor's today," Bella tells me. "And I have a craving for ice cream, but no one to hang with. Please come with me, Edward."

"I can't," I groan.

Bella's gorgeous mouth turns down in a frown. "Why not?"

"I've got a test to make up that I missed last week, and then Mrs. Walton wants to run practice a little longer today," I tell her, truly disappointed. Here was a golden opportunity for some quality Bella time and Fate was being a bitch once again.

"So are you even gonna be able to make it tonight?" Bella asks, looking sad.

"Oh yeah," I say, nodding. "I'll be at Jacob's place around six-thirty."

"Well maybe Jessica or Angela can come with me to get ice cream," Bella muses, throwing me a puppy dog face. I want to give in and would if I didn't have this important test and Mrs. Walton was a bit nicer. But the test will determine if I pass Physics this quarter, and Mrs. Walton is a raving bitch to anyone who misses play practice, even if they have a legit reason. No, I can't just ignoring those two things and spend the next couple of hours alone with Bella, even if that's all I really want to do.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I say.

"That's all right, Edward," Bella assures me. "So I guess I'll see you tonight then?"

"Yeah," I agree.

"See you, Edward," Bella says, squeezing my hand before racing down the hallway.

I stare after her and when she's out of sight I look at my hand, and it makes me sad. She used to always hug me or kiss my cheek when we parted ways before, and now all I get is a hand touch. So much has changed over the past two years, and I always try to ignore it; pretend that everything's the same because it's just easier than admitting the truth. But once in a blue moon (like now) the truth rears its ugly head and I'm too slow in looking away, so it captures me in its grasp and makes me almost cry with its soul-tearing knowledge.

"Bella," I breathe at my hand.

"Hey, don't you need to take a test?" Tyler's voice suddenly says in my ear, making me jump.

"Don't do that," I hiss as I quickly gather my things and shut my locker. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," Tyler says. "I couldn't help taking advantage of the epic opportunity that had presented itself."

"You're an ass," I say, heading for my Physics class.

"And you're a sick fool," Tyler replies, following me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lie.

"Yeah," Tyler grumbles, refusing to out loud address my love for Bella. He doesn't really think it's any of his business, though he's told me on a couple of occasions that I should just tell her and get the rejection scene over with. Tyler doesn't understand why I keep my secret hidden like I do, but he's never been in love with a girl that's completely off limits, so the entire issue baffles him.

We don't say anything else as we continue for Physics. When we get to the class, Tyler wishes me luck on my test and leaves. I open the door and for the next forty-five minutes attempt to pull magical Physic answers out of my ass.

I leave the classroom feeling drained and go to the auditorium to wait for hell-in-heels to arrive. She does ten minutes after everyone else in the play.

"Hurry up," Mrs. Walton growls as she holds open the door. We all scramble in and drop our stuff in the audience seats. "Everyone up on stage!" she orders. "We have to breeze through the warm-up exercises in five minutes so we can get to act two and finish in time."

"Five minutes," many of us mumble as we climb the stairs to the stage.

Play practice drags its lifeless body through the two or so hours of Mrs. Walton screaming at the top of her lungs, people threatening mutiny and murder under their breaths, and three people tumbling off stage, resulting in sprained ankles and arms (whether on purpose or by accident is yet to be determined).

We're done at six-fifteen, and I race out of the school to my car. I barely get my seatbelt on before I start the vehicle and tear out of the parking lot. I do sixty-nine the entire way to Jacob's, only slowing for the stoplights and stop signs. I can't be late. If I am then the entire mood of the night will change. Jacob and Bella will be lovey-dovey instead of just acting like close friends and I'll be depressed.

I pull into Jacob's driveway behind his beat-up old truck, turn off my car, and hop out. I run to the front door and throw it open (I haven't knocked since I was eight). I check out the living room and am surprised that Jacob isn't there. It's almost game time. Why isn't he setting up the Wii and laying out pop and chips?

"Jacob?" I ask into the silent house. No response comes. "Jacob?" I repeat as I go from the living room to the kitchen. There's no sign of him here either.

"He must be upstairs," I mutter to myself, jogging to the staircase. I take the stairs two at a time and reach the top in a matter of seconds. I hurry down the hall to Jacob's room. "Hey, buddy!" I call, throwing open his closed door.

"Edward!" Jacob roars just as a very girly scream pierces the air.

My mouth drops open and I can't believe my eyes.

There's a naked Lauren straddling a naked Jacob on his bed.

"What the…" I whisper.

Lauren screams again and jumps up. She quickly gathers her discarded clothes on the floor. She fumbles putting on her jeans and shirt, and when she's done she throws me a deadly glare.

"Learn to knock, asshole," she tells me, her voice a little shaky.

I barely nod as she puts on her shoes and leaves Jacob's room without so much as a good-bye to him. I watch her take off down the hall, speechless beyond compare.

Things are deathly silent as the sounding bang of Lauren slamming the front door recedes and I turn to face Jacob, who thankfully has pants on. We look at each other for a long time, both unsure of what to say.

I clear my throat a couple of times and Jacob winces, expecting the worse, but nothing comes out. I cough and shake my head, and try to speak again, but fail once again.

"I can explain—" Jacob begins, but I cut him off.

"How could you?" I finally get out. "Why would you cheat on Bella? She's amazing. She's the greatest person in the world. How could you touch that skank?"

Jacob surprises me by shrugging. "I have urges," he says. "And Bella won't put out. I love her and everything, but a guy can only hold out for so long."

"You don't love her," I snap.

"Well maybe not in the pathetic, obsessed way you do, but I do love her."

"And yet you screw Lauren," I say, my voice wobbly from the white hot anger coursing through my veins.

"Yes," Jacob responds simply.

The nonchalant way he's treating this makes me want to scream. This isn't right. How could he do something so hurtful to Bella? Doesn't he care that her heart will break when she finds out? Doesn't she mean more to him than that?

"I'm going to tell her," I say.

"Do you really want to do that, Edward?" Jacob asks.

"I'm her best friend, she'll believe me."

"Oh I don't doubt that," Jacob says, walking over to his dresser. He inspects a drawer full of clothes while he continues to talk. "But she'll be pissed at you almost as much as she will at me."

"No, she won't."

"She'll think you knew about this for a long time," Jacob says. "And when she's done tearing me a new one, she'll jump on your case. Then your dream of having her will go down the drain."

"Her knowing the truth is more important than that," I say.

"Fine. Then tell her," Jacob says, pulling out a shirt. "Be the one to break her heart."

"I'm not the one!" I shout. "You're the fucking prick that cheated on her, with Lauren no less. I won't break her heart. You will!"

"She won't see it that way," Jacob says as he puts on the shirt.

"But…But I have to—I'm her—I fucking hate you, Jacob."

"Whatever," Jacob says.

I've never been much of a fighter, but Jacob has. He's got muscle built on muscle, and looks like a fucking god when he's wailing on some poor shit that pissed him off. I'm not ashamed to admit that he scares me. He's the tough one, I'm the comforting one. That's how it always been. But at this moment I want to give in to the rage building inside and go at him with all I've got. I want to kick his ass.

I think Jacob sees this flash in my eyes because he suddenly smirks.

"Come on, Edward," he coaxes. "Hit me if that's what you really want. Finally grow a dick and be a man."

For a long moment I seriously think about it. I know that if I do he'll hurt me, but for Bella it'd be worth it. Maybe she'll even be wooed by my defending her honor, and later, when her heart has healed, she'll remember what I did and consider me to fill the void left by Jacob. Maybe she'll fall for me.

Reality hits me then and I know that no matter what I do I'll always be Edward the Best Friend. She won't love me like I do her. That has never been my place, her love; it'll always be some other guy's.

This knowledge sobers me fast.

"I'm going," I tell Jacob.

"You're such a pussy," Jacob says.

I don't respond as I turn away from the stranger that used to be my best friend. I walk away from his room and down the stairs. I pause for only a moment at the front door, but then it's open and I'm outside. I get to my car just as Bella pulls up.

"Edward!" she calls, leaping out.

I wave at her, but don't stop in getting into my car.

"What are you doing?" she asks, racing over. "Why aren't you staying?"

"I'm sick," I mumble.

"That's never stopped you before."

"I think it may be something serious, like Swine Flu."

"Oh."

I hate the sadness that clouds Bella's eyes, but I can't be here anymore.

"Yeah," I say.

"Well…I hope you're better soon," Bells says. "Don't die on me."

"I couldn't even if I tried," I say, and she smiles. "I should go now."

That wipes the smile away.

"Okay," she mutters. "Bye."

"Bye," I say and she shuts my door. I turn the key and my car springs to life. She waits and watches me drive away before hurrying into Jacob's house, to his lying love.

* * *

It's less than a week later that Bella and Jacob are through, and I had nothing to do with their break up. Lauren did. She was bragging about the size of Jacob's cock and was overheard by Jessica, who promptly told Bella. There was a huge fight between them, Jacob confessed, and Bella dumped his ass.

Jacob didn't mention that I knew about him and Lauren, and I acted like it was a surprise when Bella told me, so she wasn't mad at me. No, she cried in my arms, tore a few pages out of one of my books, and put a new dent in my wall. I didn't mind, though. I just did what I always do: I was her best friend and comforted her.

She's getting over it great, though. I can tell when I watch her in English. There's a sadness that clings to her beautiful eyes, but she easily smiles when she talks to Jessica or me. It'll be a long time before her shredded heart will be back to wanting romance, but that day will come. And there's a high chance that Bella and her guy will end, and I'll be there just like I always am: loving her with every fiber of my being, but able to put that aside to be the best friend that she needs. Because that's all I'll ever be...

Her best friend.


End file.
